Absence of Light
by Peta Tranquille
Absence of Light is a personal reflection that begins from a time before I was aware of my lack of normal episodic memory. This exhibition documents the various stages of how I learned to live with and understand Aphantasia. Throughout my journey, I have discovered innovative ways to document experiences that cannot be relived.
My work reflects these experiences through various mediums and forms, each piece striking a delicate balance between exploration and emotion. The materials selected for each artwork are carefully chosen to resonate with the narrative and focus on the themes of translucency, fragility, and darkness.
Absence of Light serves as both a personal journey of discovery and an exploration of self-understanding, highlighting the complexities and importance of episodic memory and mental health. With an emphasis on introspection, this collection attempts to convey the inner workings of my unique memory process and encourages viewers to contemplate their own memories and perceptions.
Digitally rendered exhibition
In The Dark. PVC Coated wire and zip ties, 45 x 59 x 50 cm.
In The Dark is a wire sculpture representing the confusing and isolating experience of living with Aphantasia before knowing it existed. It captures a time of unawareness about my inability to visualise, leading to ongoing confusion and frustration.
The intertwined wires depict the internal chaos of navigating a world reliant on mental imagery. Each twist symbolises the search for clarity in a foggy mental landscape, mirroring feelings of misunderstanding and isolation. The gaps and spaces illustrate moments of searching for connections that remain out of reach, conveying a profound sense of loneliness.
Despite these feelings, there is a determination to understand and connect. In The Dark is not just about aphantasia but also reflects the human condition and our diverse ways of perceiving the world. It asks viewers to reflect on their perceptions and empathize with the invisible struggles others may face.
In The Dark (Detail). PVC Coated wire and zip ties, 45 x 59 x 50 cm.
Presence of Silence. Tracing paper, archival glue and LED light source, 58 x 40 x 40 cm.
Presence of Silence represents the discovery of having Aphantasia, where the mind’s eye is blind to imagery. Constructed from fragments of torn tracing paper, this artwork represents my internal experience.​
The delicate and fragile nature of the tracing paper metaphorically reflects the mental processes that elude me. Like tracing paper, which reveals underlying ideas without forming vivid images, my mind has concepts and emotions without any visual connection. The fragments create a contradiction: the more you look, the less you see clearly, illustrating the struggle of a world without visualisation.
​​
Presence of Silence invites viewers to consider absence and presence, showing how the ethereal can be captured. It challenges the need for visualisation in understanding and connection, celebrating the complexity emerging from the absence of mental imagery. Through this work, I offer insight into a unique cognitive experience and encourage dialogue about the diverse ways we perceive the world.
Presence of Silence (Detail). Tracing paper, archival glue and LED light source, 8 x 40 x 40 cm.
Silent Strength. Plaster and galvanized steel, 18 x 38 x 31cm.
Silent Strength is a sculpture constructed from plaster and galvanized steel mesh, embodying the journey of accepting Aphantasia and embracing the transformative power it can bring. This artwork symbolises the transition from feeling "broken" to discovering inherent strength within this unique condition.
The juxtaposition of the plaster’s vulnerability with the strength of the steel captures the essence of determination needed to address the challenges of Aphantasia. Dual themes are represented portraying fragility and resilience, illustrating how limitations can lead to discoveries and personal growth.
By reflecting on the quiet, unspoken power of overcoming internal struggles, Silent Strength invites viewers to contemplate their own journey of acceptance and resilience, while encouraging consideration of the beauty and strength found in diversity.
Silent Strength (Detail). Plaster and galvanized steel, 18 x 38 x 31cm.
Chronological Chaos. Galvanized Steel and Inkjet printed Vellum paper, 43 x 59 x 37cm.
Chronological Chaos examines the complexities of arranging memories chronologically, a task made difficult by having Aphantasia. This cage-like sculpture, made from galvanized steel mesh, contains a continuous roll of images printed on vellum paper, mimicking film negatives. Each image features me at a moment in my past. The strips, pasted together in a random chronological order, represent the disorganisation and unstructured nature of my episodic memory.
​​
The cage symbolises the constraints and challenges of aligning memories in order of time, while the negatives capture the essence of ephemeral moments. The artwork showcases the interplay between negativity and positivity, emphasising a personal perspective from such disarray.
​
Chronological Chaos invites the viewer to rethink the nature of memory and time, suggesting that life’s narrative does not always need a clear order to be understood. It celebrates the unexpected growth and understanding that can arise from accepting the chaos.
Chronological Chaos (Detail). Galvanized Steel and Inkjet printed Vellum paper, 43 x 59 x 37cm.
Memories in Time. Photographic Print, 86 x 82cm
Memories in Time is a digital projection that chronicles fifty years of autobiographical photographs. Each pixel represents a week, creating a visual timeline that not only documents photographic moments in time but also highlights significant gaps where any visual records are lost forever.
​
This artwork also demonstrates the transition from sparse analogue photographs to those in the digital age, marked by selfies and increased documentation. The selection of images was meticulous, incorporating only those that could be accurately placed within a specific weekly context. Without knowing what the final results would be, it is proof of the inconsistency of photographic record keeping throughout my life.
​
Memories in Time encourages the audience to reflect on the nature of memory and the importance of documentation. It serves as a vivid reminder of how digital tools have transformed our ability to capture and recall life’s moments. Despite technological advances, some experiences remain elusive and unrecorded, particularly for those living with Aphantasia.
Memories in Time (Detail). Photographic Print, 86 x 82cm
Memories in Time (Detail). Photographic Print, 86 x 82cm
Fragmented. Double coated drafted film and graphite, 42x 30cm.
Fragmented is a layered composition crafted from drafting film, with handwritten stories related to photographs featured in the body of work. They form a continuous narrative on the back sheet, purposely written without full stops to merge the stories into one long continuous sentence. This uninterrupted flow mimics the elusive nature of my episodic memories, especially pronounced having Aphantasia.
Above the story layer, the sheets of drafting film have multiple pixels removed, revealing random words to emphasise the difficulty reliving my past.
With the inability to relive events from the past, raises the importance of narratives and the primary connection they represent. Through Fragmented, the viewers are prompted to consider the reliability of memory and the ways we piece together our lives from the remnants of the past.
Seeing Past the Void, Graphite on paper, 60 x 42cm.
Seeing Past the Void combines photographic elements with the narratives that connect them. A collage of photos with stories debossed into each image, captures the essence of moments I cannot relive due to Aphantasia.​
The figures in the artwork, which all include me, are depicted as voids, representing the absence of visual memory and the disconnection from those experiences. This emphasises the dark reality of what is unable to be relived and felt.
​​
This work challenges the viewer to explore the nuances of presence and absence, casting light on the invisible effort of navigating life without the ability to mentally revisit past moments.
Seeing Past the Void (Detail), Graphite on paper, 60 x 42cm.
Strength in Acceptance. Printed Vellum paper, archival glue and LED light source, 30 x 30 x 50cm.
Strength in Acceptance reflects my journey of reaching a positive acceptance of Aphantasia. Crafted from vellum paper and illuminated from within, printed photos, featuring me, celebrate my life experiences.
​
The interplay of light and the delicacy of the vellum paper highlights the resilience and fragility of my journey. It illustrates how I've come to view Aphantasia not as a limitation, but as an important part of my identity. Strength in Acceptance moves beyond mere acceptance by highlighting the strength I discovered throughout the process.​
​
Viewers are encouraged to consider the transformative power of acceptance and the positive impacts that can arise from embracing diversity.
Seeing Past the Void (Detail), Graphite on paper, 60 x 42cm.